My very first blog - 'If The Stars Could See You Now' 6/7/24 #music #kildare #musician #irish #artist #blog #writer #firstblog #singer/songwriter #lifeblog #ADHD #neurodivergent #composer #poet

I am here looking out at the rain and it is summer and wondering how am I ever going to get some clothes dry and do all the things that are waiting for me to figure and sort out.

Being an up-and-coming artist and musician while dealing with ADHD presents a multitude of challenges. Juggling the task of songwriting with the constant looming of unfinished chores and the anxiety of navigating the essential aspects of artistic growth like website management, Music PR, email lists, and event promotion has caused my creative pursuits to take a backseat at times.

While I enjoy being on stage with my microphone and fiddle, I also recognize the importance of tasks such as hyperlinking, sharing links, and applying for funding. These activities are all essential parts of the process, and like any new business or creative endeavor, they can bring about a sense of vulnerability due to uncertainty about what comes next. Just like today, sending my first email about my upcoming gig in The Cobblestone in Dublin... and now starting my blog (this was not on my to do list today...but it felt like the right time).... Because anything is better than sorting out the doom piles. Anyone reading this with ADHD will get this!

I have gotten better asking for help. I closed my practice in Psychotherapy in November 2021, a career I had loved for almost 20 years and gave my heart fully to. I began my new journey in pursuing music while working part-time as a substitute teacher, giving me a more flexible work/life balance to focus on developing my music and career as a Mother and Musician.

Realizing that life can be short, especially after the cancer diagnosis of my sister-in-law Donna in 2021, and with the prolonged absence of live music due to Covid, I came to the conclusion that I could no longer neglect my creative side. For over 20 years, I had been focused on helping others heal, but during the Covid lockdown, I found my own healing through music and poetry. This period of reflection made me confront and release more grief related to the loss of my brother John over two decades ago. As I questioned, Who am I ? under the night sky, I that I was more than Mairéad the Psychotherapist, mother, daughter, and wife - I was also a musician. The absence of music during the lockdown made me realize how much I missed it, and I made a promise not to deny that part of myself again. Allow me to introduce myself.

I am Mairéad. I am a Singer/Songwriter, Musician, Poet, and Storyteller. I bring all that I have learned with me, on and off stage. I love to share what I have learned.

I love music as a way to be more myself. I love music as a way to connect with myself and others.

Music makes me feel happier, even when parts of being an emerging artist make me cry, such as being dropped from support act gigs last minute because the headlining artist refused to facilitate a support act (this happened to me twice in a month) after practicing and organizing other musicians.

I definitely went into the music industry wearing rose-tinted glasses, and you know what? I will stay wearing them because the world has gotten so grey and black with the awful treatment of children in Gaza that makes me cry more, and I count my blessings I can speak and write and be free to express myself.

'If the stars could see you now' is a multifaceted creative project.

It started at my washing line (now that is broken, by the way) looking up at the beautiful night sky, questioning who I am, while missing my brother John?

It developed into a song with the lyrics 'As the clouds moved on, the sky is clear.'

Clarity came in the silence for me, and so did grief, which came in the shape of poetry and songs.

If the stars could see you now? is the name of a song, an EP, my upcoming podcast and poetry collection, as well as this blog and I have even bigger dreams for it developing into a musical.

Say a prayer for me, and I will say a prayer for you so that we keep remembering who we are.

I am a musician and much more than what I do, just as you are too.

" If the stars could see you now... what would they say"...lyrics from my song 'If the stars could see you now'

Thank you for reading my very first blog.

With love from my heart to yours

Mairéad